My Crappy, Crappy Day

A few weeks ago, I had a terrible day. My girls had some form of the flu and Nora was in meltdown mode. I had been trying to soothe her for over an hour. I was sitting on the floor caught between calming Nora down and entertaining Ellie when my husband Chad walked in. He picked up Nora and she instantly stopped crying. I mean instantly.

I was crushed. I had held her and sang to her and rocked her for what felt like ages and she stopped crying the moment Chad picked her up. I lost it. I cried and I cried and then I cried some more. I was exhausted and frustrated. I like to tell myself my transition to motherhood has happened, but I’m not there yet. I couldn’t see past all my feelings. Chad kindly told me to get out and he would take care of the girls the last few hours of the evening before they went to sleep.

After some convincing, I quickly reapplied some makeup and threw on a pair of sunglasses to hide my swollen eyes. I grabbed my book and walked out. All by myself.

I didn’t have anywhere to go or anything I needed to do. I was bizarrely caught up on all my errands. When does that ever happen? So I did what I genuinely wanted to do. I drove to Cubby’s and read in my own little nook with some yummy rosemary fries. I lost myself in the pages of someone else’s world. When I finally left, I continued reading in my car.

After a while, I decided I might as well go to Target. I strolled along with my empty cart in my happy place. I eventually grabbed a few things we needed and got myself a new sweater. Hooray for retail therapy.

When I came home the girls were asleep and Chad was washing bottles (he’s a gem). I wasn’t entirely out of my funk. I had made considerable progress though. After a good night’s rest, I felt more than ready to mom again.

I don’t know why I feel compelled to tell you about my crappy, crappy day. Maybe it’s because we all have them. You, me, your neighbor, your friend. All of us. Don’t feel alone in your bad day as a mom, employee, student, or whatever else you may or may not be doing right now. I get it. The world gets it, even if we all prefer to show everyone we’re having a good day. It’s okay to pause, take time for yourself, and start again tomorrow.