I have this deep fear of my girls being in 6th or 7th grade and learning to absolutely hate each other. I can almost hear the yelling and the slamming doors. I know this is years away, but it still weighs on me. My sisters are my best friends. I remember moving right before my freshman year of high school and rarely feeling like too much of a loner those first few months because I had my sisters. I want Nora and Ellie to have that kind of relationship to fall back on.
I think the root of this fear comes from how natural it is to compare twins. I already find myself saying things like, “Well, Ellie has way more teeth than Nora,” and “Have you seen Nora’s hair?? Ellie is still a little baldy!” It’s automatic. Comparing these two beautiful girls is so easy.
So I’m making an effort to stop right now before they are old enough to realize what I’m doing. Ellie and Nora have their own strengths, quirks, talents, and struggles. Comparing myself to anyone has never led to a good relationship. So, I’m not going to compare my girls anymore. They don’t need me to help them form an easy, destructive habit. It’s a baby step, but a baby step in the right direction.
From here on out, if you hear me comparing them please please please stop me. I’ll be working on catching myself too. I’m considering having a jar I have to put money in each time I do. Maybe I’ll start the girls’ college funds that way.
So here’s an update on these two babes SANS comparisons:
Nora is my snuggler, tried and true. She doesn’t love playing alone for too long. Especially if I’m somewhere nearby. She gives the best slow smiles when she sees someone she knows from across the room and it all too often makes me a little teary. Nora is a scooting champ. She can roam any room with ease and is getting quicker much to my dismay.
Ellie LOVES to play. She can make a game out of any activity. Bouncing, sucking on a block, kicking the ground (and her sister), eating mashed carrots, you name it. She is happy to do it. She’s got 6 teeth. Her drooling game is as strong as ever and she is getting close to crawling. She’ll get up on her hands and knees and just rock back and forth. We’re SO close!
I love my little ones. Here’s to having confident middle school daughters that love each other and don’t compare too often. That’s the dream. Because really, if we could all be as confident and happy as little Nora right there, wouldn’t the world be a happier place?